Three books you’ll never see in print

March 9, 2007

You’re Not Jewish, Get Over It!Why Can’t You Just Be Black?Your Black Cousins

You’re Not Jewish, Get Over It!
Why Can’t You Just Be Black?
Your Black Cousins

These are fictional titles to books I wish someone would write. Since I’m only the title maker, not the author, I can’t cover in great detail what these books would cover, but I have an idea of what the subject matter would be.

You’re Not Jewish, Get Over It is for that special someone who just can’t seem to get through his thick skull that he is not Jewish. Not being Jewish can be tough to cope with. I know. But think of this book as a how-to, ten-step program of how cutting down one’s addiction can be easy if you put your mind to it. It also shares, if you truly desire to be Jewish, how you can convert.

Why Can’t You Just Be Black? This is for all those folks out there who are running the race Olympics. Why can’t black folks just be black? Why does you’re grandma have to be half this and half that? I’m sure some of all that is legit and this book will cover that, but for everyone else who just can’t cope, this book teaches you how to truly fall in love your blackness.

Your Black Cousins is for the white man in denial. You know you got some black cousins because of slavery and the legal raping of black women for years on end. This book shows you how to seek out your black cousins, embrace them, and welcome your new cousins into your family. And all the while learning how to be a loving, kind, responsible, human being.

Now, I’m not telling you what to do, but for all you writers out there, this is some premium stuff. The titles alone would be a sure bet you’d be a best-seller. I only ask that if you actually use one of my titles you let me know so I can pick up a copy when it’s published.

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