I rarely get so tense in a social situation that I have to bow out of plans. It’s only happened about 3 times and twice with the same person in the last 45 days. Usually, I am at ease and extremely comfortable meeting new people and chatting them up. I may be the slightest bit awkward, but have definitely come out of my shell in the last year or so.
But with the social anxiety attacks, I get so nervous I start breathing shallow and my stomach knots up so tight I feel like I’m going to throw up. But get this, I can sit at a bar alone and meet new people with no problem. It’s just this one particular scenario (maybe even this one particular person) that scares me to death. The last time this happened, prior to this, I somehow managed to fight it enough to fake it and as soon as I got in the place I was mostly fine immediately and just fine later.
But today, I couldn’t. I tried three times to go up to the house and each time I would have rather died than step out of my car.
Too bad, I bet it was fun, too. Sheesh, I don’t know what to do about all this stuff. I’d better make a list.
